Have you been planning for your future in Hell? As inhabitants of this godforsaken, unholy realm of unspeakable horrors are aware of, the offspring between a human male and a Succubus, or a human woman and an Incubus, results in a half-demon offspring known as a Cambion. I guess since you knocked up a demon (or vice versa), you must now unite in UNholy matrimony! Of course, every half-fiend child needs the most evil education available. These days, human souls are becoming scarce, as more and more humans are being born without souls with the passing of every generation. Thankfully, our greatest private school, located all the way past the hottest lava pit in the Ninth stage of Hell. known as “(name in a guttural demonic language that would make listeners’ bleed out of their ears and become permanently insane and nearby flowers to instantly wither and die if spoken aloud) School For Gifted Hell Spawn”! The ambiance is one of pure agony! The abysmal scent of human flesh burning alive by the dozens as they sink deeper into the nearby lava pits, accompanied by their agonizing, bloodcurdling screams, provides a hellish environment that would impress your finicky little fiend. It’s also where the most successful, merciless, evil demons to ever walk this nightmarish world have graduated from! One of our brightest students, Agreas, has become wealthy for being the most underworld-renowned “FOUL LANGUAGE” teacher. A prodigy among his demonic peers, he’s known every single curse word ever uttered by a human tongue since he was 2 months of age, every rude gesture by 6 months, and every ill-mannered behavior by 8 months! Today, he has schools on every level of Hell. His success has resulted in purchasing of the Eastern Zone of Hell, (a gorgeous, expensive place just a few thousand miles under Hollywood) for a whopping price of 650,000 human souls! His neighbors and best friends, Josef Stalin and Ronald Reagan, have recently piqued Agreas’ interest in politics. As a result, he is now planning a campaign to become the next Dark Emperor of the Fifth Hell. He calls himself the “voice of all demonkind”. He feels that whether you live in the quaintest burning pits of the Fourth Hell, cleaning up human remains at your local human flesh eating restaurants, or the deepest, darkest abyss managing a human torture chamber where you test your latest assortment of skin-flaying, flesh-burning, limb-cutting weapons before feeding their screaming remains to giant, angry, fire-breathing, demonic bats, you should all be treated as equally hopeless, soulless demons! He hopes to be the next Lucifer, or better yet, George W. Bush.